For several months the Lord has dealt with me regarding faith and belief. Faith to step outside of my comfort zone to accomplish my goals and belief in my spiritual gifts and natural abilities to reach my dream of writing full time.
It all seemed far fetched for a girl who grew up in a neighborhood deemed undesirable by many. Being blessed with the ability to earn a living without working a 9 to 5 seemed as far fetched as the pages of the magazine it was written on. Now it’s within reach and I find myself doubting. “Lord, help my unbelief” Mark 9:24.
Sadly, becoming a full-time freelance writer is not the only dream I’ve struggled with lately. For nearly a decade I worked, planned and created a leadership conference which differed from all the rest. One which was character driven and not by personality. These days that dream is filed away in a cabinet. Not having been glanced over in quite some time. The sting of rejection and constant infighting became too much. I knew there would be opposition, but not to the degree I’d experienced.
Nehemiah endured the same problems while attempting to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem and yet despite the opposition he continually faced was able to fulfill his dream. As I write these words, I’ve been reminded that opposition is part of the journey, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the end. It’s what we do with the problems that arise. Do we allow them to hinder us or dare we use it as fodder to propel our prayer life to one required of leadership?
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of infighting. But most of all I’m tired of giving up on my dreams. I’ve grown weary of complaining about society and of our differences without providing a reasonable solution in return. William Johnsen said, “if it is to be, it’s up to me.” Having said that, it’s time to revise the idea of a leadership conference where everyone can benefit and not just those society deems desirable.
Pray for me as I give this God-given dream a third shot of coming to life.
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